Ah yes – the infamous “About” page …
I don’t know about you, but I always kind of dread these things. I mean, what are you supposed to say here? And how do you say it?
You either say it in the third person and sound like a douchebag, or you say it in the first person … and also sound like a doucebag.
Oh … are you still reading this? This is going to be painful …
Okay, let’s see where we can take this … I might try writing this in the third person … said Adam.
True Hollywood Adelaide Story – Adam Wozniak
Although of Polish background, Adam Wozniak was originally born in a refugee camp overseas (the accommodation was rated 2 stars by Getaway).
Adam’s family had ended up there after escaping from the “commie-pinkos” in Poland. After outstaying their welcome at the refugee camp, the Wozniak family moved to Australia while Adam was still just a wee-little Pole.
The Wozniak family began life in Adelaide with no possessions, no contacts, no jobs, and no English skills. In other words, the Australian Government would have loved them!
Adam picked up the Polish language from his parents quickly, but since his family knew no English themselves, he had to pick that up from elsewhere.
Thankfully, the Wozniak family quickly acquired a television set (they promise to track down the original owner soon … especially once those 3D televisions come out …), and Adam ended up learning the English language from Sesame Street and Play School. By the age of 5, he had already read “The Complete Works of Yahoo Serious”.
Adam eventually grew up (sort of – penis jokes are still funny), graduated from high school, and (surprisingly) was offered a place at law school (must have been some sort of administrative error).
After completing 5-years worth of mind-numbing law lectures (although, to be fair, he was rarely present at any of them), Adam was still up for a little more tertiary torture – and applied for, and was accepted into, a film making degree in Adelaide (seriously … there is a film making degree in Adelaide … oh, and do us both a favour and never, ever, waste your time going there).
Although still a young and “perky” Pole, Adam has worked a wide variety of jobs in his life so far. He began at the age of 15 working at KFC for $4.70 an hour (was that even legal?!).
After several years there, he became sick of smelling like fried chicken (sprinkled with the Colonel’s secret blend of herbs and spices), and had an ethical problem with KFC’s slogan, “Finger Licking Good” …
Halt! Hammerzeit!
Argh! I have to stop it there. Back to first person again. What else can I say?
Life has been very interesting so far, on both a personal and professional level. Personally, I’ve encountered the same sorts of ups and downs most people do in the first few decades of their lives.
Those experiences have sometimes, unfortunately, been punctuated by severe sadness, and the occasional serious and traumatic event (you know, like hearing that Hey Hey It’s Saturday was going to return to air …).
Professionally, it’s been a bit of a roller coaster too. I’ve worked a lot of different jobs up until this point, including as:
- a newspaper delivery boy (just last week actually … kidding!)
- a tennis coach
- a private investigator (or is that “instigator” …)
- a library assistant
- a library shelver (highlight was working 8-hour days for several weeks to ensure that a collection of several thousand books were in order on the shelves …)
- a census collector
- a retail salesperson
- a translator and voice-artist
- an administrative assistant (*yawn*)
- an actor and supervisor in mock interviews and mediations for law students
- a presenter, producer, and manager on community radio
- a video operator
- a participant in various marketing “focus groups” (the highlight involved discussing the “homosexuality” of a flavoured milk carton design …)
- an actor, producer, and director of short films
- the creator, producer, and host of an independently funded comedy television pilot
- a lawyer (*shudder*)
- a university teacher in law and legal studies
- and, now, a full-time writer and entrepreneur (codeword for “unemployed” I believe … or is that “unemployable”? I don’t seem to know the difference any more!).
I’ve probably forgotten a dozen more smaller jobs, but you get the idea.
So why have I pointed out all of this trivial stuff?
Simply to illustrate that if you’re confused about your own life and don’t know where you’re heading, then it’s clear that I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life either!
All I know is that I have had enough of the merry-go-round that is the typical life-career path that we are brainwashed to follow from a young age. And I don’t believe you have to hit retirement age to realise the absurdity of it all. So why not spend our time pursuing that which makes us happy and alive?
That’s why I’ve jumped around through so many different jobs, careers, and activities. They have helped me realise what I find important. And it has, broadly speaking, boiled down to two things – helping people, and entertaining people.
It took me a while to discover this, and sometimes you find these things in the strangest places (I mean that metaphorically, not medically or anything …).
So, how did it happen to me?
Well, one particular event triggered the spark I needed. One day, while using a hairdryer, I accidentally fell into the bathtub and was electrocuted. From that moment on, I knew what women wanted.
Shortly after, I went on an anti-Semitic rampage, assaulted several police officers, and was eventually subdued with capsicum spray. But enough about my film career.
It was also around this time that I watched as television hosts, Roy Slaven & HG Nelson, read out an email that I had written them (this was during their “The Dream” Sydney 2000 Olympics show on Channel 7). The studio audience burst into a fit of laughter, and I suddenly realised what I wanted to do … become a fire fighter.
So I started writing comedic articles for the university student newspaper (some really cringe-worthy articles, when I think about them now … kind of like this whole About page), as well as letters-to-the-editor to “The Advertiser” (our city’s official newspaper tabloid toilet rag).
However, I soon realised that the people who read letters-to-the-editor take things seriously. Very seriously.
So after being relocated by the Federal Witness Protection Program, my journey eventually led me to community radio, and then community television. Then, as is usual, life “got in the way”, and my creative pursuits were put on hold for the moment.
A new direction
Before I knew it, I had suddenly (and accidentally) landed back at university – this time in a teaching role.
It was then that I suddenly realised the enjoyment I received from helping people (something that was first triggered during an earlier tennis coaching career).
Teaching also provided me with an outlet for doing things differently, putting my personality into my work, and actually making learning enjoyable for people (at least when they weren’t being subjected to my terrible jokes …).
But, as is so often the case, eventually that joy was short lived after a few years, thanks to internal bureaucracy, politics, and power games. These things began to block me from doing things my way.
Additionally, I came to the realisation that there are far better forums for teaching people than the university system. So although all of this eventually soured my enthusiasm of ever working “in the system” again, it didn’t sour my desire to continue helping people learn (and improving myself in the process).
So all of the above indirectly led me to doing what I do now – running my own business (which allows me to help people in a certain context, while being freed from representing an “institution” and having to deal with their absurd internal politics and bureaucracy), and pursuing the projects that I find interesting.
This website happens to be one of those projects, by the way.
This website
I’ve had this domain name for quite a while (egotistical, I know!), but it wasn’t until recently that I finally decided what to do with it.
So voila – the website you are looking at now.
It’s a snapshot of who I am, while – more importantly – serving as a hub from which I can base my activities. Those activities involve building a community, as well as helping and entertaining as many people as I can through my projects, as well as my blog.
The blog will be one of the major features of this new website, and one that I hope will attract a lot of like-minded people (presuming I write regularly, that is!).
While I don’t intend to lock down a specific subject area at this stage, all I can say is that the topics will broadly cover personal development, as well as unconventional thinking. These aren’t necessarily original areas (how “conventional”, right …?), but hopefully I can put my own spin on them. Sometimes, I’ll probably go off on a tangent altogether!
If some of these blog articles help people look at things from a different angle, help them gain confidence and motivation, or just make them smile and laugh, then I will have accomplished my goal … of writing annoying cliches.
But seriously – I just want to see people succeed.
There is nothing more exhilarating to me than seeing people find things that make them feel alive. I love seeing people break free from the preconditioning they have received from society … preconditioning that tries to convince them that mediocrity should be their aspiration in life.
So, not surprisingly, what I hate seeing is people accept less than their potential.
It’s not only bad for the individual, but it’s ultimately bad for the progress of society. We need people who are creative, passionate, and alive. We need people who are driven to become the best human being they can be. And we need those people to help as many others as they can.
So this website (and its associated blog) is my public attempt at doing what I can to not only improve myself (there are a LOT of areas to improve, believe me!), but also help as many other people along the way.
So let’s help each other along this journey! :)
